Stan: We killed our teacher and they found our seamen in her stomach.
Chef: Oh, children, that's a problem we all have to face at one time or another. Here: let me sing you a little song that might cheer you up. Sometimes you kill your teacher and they find your semen in her stomach, and uh-- Wait! What the what?!
Stan: So what should we do?
[Chef then pushes the Couch where the children are sitting outside. He then shuts the door.]

Per definitie, Cartman's quote, "Screw you guys... I'm going home."

Cartman: Hahahahaha, look at Kenny's lunch A baloney sandwich and water! Hahaha, Goddamn your family's poor, dude. [Kenny indeed has a plain bologna sandwich and a glass of water.]
Butters: Hey, you fellas wanna see High School Musical 3 tonight? Bunch of kids from school are gonna see it again.
Kyle: What's High School Musical 3?
Clyde: You know, the sequel to High School Musical 1 and 2.
Stan: What's High School Musical 1 and 2?
Cartman: There's not, there's not even condiments on his baloney sandwich!
Jason: What's High School Musical 1 and... Dude, it's only the most popular thing with kids in our age group!
Jimmy: Yeah. Where the hell have you guys ...been?
Craig: Peru.

---

Cartman: Well, I'm out guys. [get up from the sofa, puts on his jacket, and heads for the front door] If this is what's cool now, I think I'm done. I no longer have any connection to this world. I'm gonna go home and kill myself. Goodbye, friends.

---

No matter what I do, this kid just won't stop. [some kids look at him and decide to follow] And now they're gonna be in a show together? Jesus it's all over for me. [the kids begin to snap their fingers] They'll probably even have a kissing scene. What did I do to deserve this? And what am I suppose to do now? [he stops, the kids stop walking but continue snapping their fingers. Soon they smile in anticipation...]
Sooooomeooooone's in the kitchen with Dinah [the kids' anticipation fades. Stan isn't singing as they'd hope he would]
Someone's in the kitchen, I know.
Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah
Strummin' on the old banjo and go and
Fee, fie, fiddle-e-i-o.
Fee, fie, fiddle-e-i-o-o-o-o. [Wendy, Bebe, and some other kids arrive]
Fee, fie, fiddle-e-i-o.
Strumming on the old banjo jo jo...

Go tell Aunt Rhodie
Go tell Aunt Rhodie
Go tell Aunt Rhodie
Her ole gray goose is...

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to...

[no one is making a sound. Stan puts his hands in his pockets, hangs his head, then turns left and walks away]

---

Stan: [impatiently tapping the table] Dude, where is she? We can't wait.
Kyle: God, this is gonna be sooo yummy.
Cartman: Stan, you said your mom was bringing Kentucky Fried Chicken home for dinner! Now is she or isn't she?!
Sharon: Hi boys.
Stan: Mom!
Kyle: She's here!
Cartman: She's got Colonel!
Kyle: I want some!
Cartman: Oh boy!
Stan: [twirling around] I want a breast!
Cartman: Some extra-crispy thighs, extra crispy?
Sharon: Uuh uh uh, not so fast. You boys can help bring in the other groceries in the car, then have your chicken.
The Boys: Awww!
Stan: But Mom, we've been waiting for hours!
Sharon: It won't take a minute.
Cartman: Come on guys. If we all help out, we can do it super-fast.
Stan: All right.
Kyle: [firmly] Let's go. Oh my God, that smells good. [Cartman stays behind and quickly sits back down. As the other boys head out of the kitchen, Cartman rips the skins off the chicken pieces and wolfs them down. Sharon and the other boys return with the groceries.]
Stan: Okay, this is everything, mom. [the boys return to their seats]
Kyle: All right, let's eat Colonel! [Cartman leaves as the others sit]
Stan: Oh boy! [they see the denuded chicken pieces. Stan looks at Cartman] Cartman, you ate the skin off of every piece of chicken!
Cartman: [turns around] Well, I saved you all the chicken part. [quiet burp]
Kyle: The skin's the best part...
Cartman: [puts on his coat] Well, I gotta go home, guys. I'm gonna sit on the toilet and read comic books. See you at the bus stop tomorrow. [leaves the kitchen. The boys are puzzled as to what to do, and Kenny cries]

Dude, that Kicks Ass!

is gewoon Uber koel.

Rob Pardo: Whoever this person is, he has played World of Warcraft nearly every hour of every day for the past year and a half. Gentlemen, we are dealing with someone here who . . . has absolutely no life.
Blizzard executive: How do you kill . . . that which has no life?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TV Reporter: When asked if MOOP's strike will stop them from illegaly downloading music, 1% said "yes". 2% said "no". And, 97% said "Who the hell is MOOP?" Back to you, Tom.

Alle quotes hiervan.

DIE IS GENIAAAL!

Yeah bitch, shut your god damn bitch mouth!

Chef: I got something to tell you.
Cartman What?
Chef: you're not gonna like it . . .
Cartman: What?
Chef: It's really gonna piss you off . . .
Cartman: What?
Chef: Okay. This is a dream. You still on that cross!
Cartman [Wakes up]: Goddamnit!!!

-- Spontaneous Combustion

de mijne is toch echt screw you guys, i'm going home

Obama:
We watched... as sex addiction ran rampant through our cuntry. It devastated families. But once again, our great country has risen up as one. The wizard alien... is dead. Sex addiction is no more. And if a rich celebrity is caught again trying to screw lots of women, we will know it isn't because men are just like that, it's because a wizard alien has cast his mighty spell.
Randy:
Oh I'm so glad it's over, Sharon. Aren't you?
Reporter:
We are now with the young boys who helped stop the alien. Boys, how does it feel to be free of your illness?
Kyle:
I guess it... feels great. Thanks.
Butters:
Yeah, it feels great! I never wanna see bush again! I finally paid a lady to show me hers. You wanna know what's under thta bush? Nothin' but a pair of sick Joker lips.

deze is de beste van 1401 xD

Ik vindt de klassiekers nog wel goed, zoals: OMG they killed Kenny, Jewboy en fat ass, ... Maar ik vindt 'Bush is a nazi' zo goed he! De manier waarop cartman dat zegt is zo grappig. Ook sommige uitspraken van chef zijn goed, uit de aflevering dat hij vertrekt uit South Park.

Cartman: So now, the inevitable question: if terrorists didn't cause 9/11, who did? [he begins to use his fingers to to show the numbers as he says them] Remember that there are in fact two towers. Two minus one is one; one one - 11; two minus one is one; one one, and there are nine members on Silverstein's board of directors. That's nine-one-one. Nine-eleven. And take 2 - 1 + 9/11 and you get 12, which leads us all to the mastermind of the 9/11 attacks. [click. Kyle now appears superimposed on the 9/11 picture already onscreen].Kyle!

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Favourite:

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Newest:

Cartman: That's bullcrap! Titanium alloy my ass!
Kyle: Well, let's see how he likes the icy blasts from my nunchakus Sokuromoto! [whips them around a few times and unleashes an icy stream of energy towards Butters. The blasts knock Butters out of the air and he hits the ground with a thud.]
Butters: Huh nice attempt, ninja! But now both of you shall feel the power of my Web of Holding! [leaps up into the air and jumps back down, strikes the ground with his right fist, and the ground cracks towards the boys, ending with them being tossed into the air. The boys land on the ground again and look up at Butters] Hahahahaha! You are both trapped in spiderwebs! [two spiderwebs drop down and trap Stan and Kyle]
Cartman: All right, dickhole! Time for you to pay! [Cartman attempts to unleash energy with his hands, but nothing happens.] Oh no! I have no powers! Kyle took them away from me! Quick, Kyle, give me back my powers so I can fight this evil villain!
Kyle: Okay, okay, you can have your powers back.
Cartman: All right! And now I will use my power to... [faces the other boys] turn Kyle into a chicken! Bleh! [in an instant Kyle becomes a chicken]
Kyle: Goddamnit Cartman!
Cartman: Hahahahahaaa ha! Now you are a chicken! Nyanyanyanyanyaaa nya!

Cartman: Dammit Butters! Keep eating, or else I'll kick your ass till you're deader than Kenny!
Stan: Dude, that isn't cool. You shouldn't joke about Kenny being dead. Enough time hasn't passed.
Cartman: How long do we have to wait before we can joke about it?
Stan: 22.3 years.
Cartman: Damn, that's a long time to wait.

Cartman: [Cartman thinks back as well] Okay, except maybe for that one time.
Kyle: You've always been a dick to me, Cartman, and I'm not inviting you. [turns and walks away, but Cartman stays close]
Cartman: Kyle, you don't understand! Casa Bonita is my most favorite place [Kyle turns around] in the whole world. I'll just, I'll just die if you don't take me! Please! [holds his hands together in a sign of pleading]
Kyle: [crosses his arms and avoids Cartman's eyes] Sorry, my mind's made up.
Cartman: [turns irate and flips him off] Well f**k you, Kyle!! I don't wanna go to your faggy birthday party anyway! I'd much rather hang out at home than have to be around you and your Jew mom for a day! [shoves the middle finger close to Kyle's face] Kiss my balls, asshole!! [turns and walks away. The front door opens, closes, and opens again. Cartman returns and apologizes] Dude, I totally didn't mean that, Kyle. Ah I really really wanna go to Casa Bonita. I'm sorry we had that fight just now. You know, I mean, I said some things, you said some things, but, I think it was good and we we've moved past it.
Kyle: I'm not inviting you to Casa Bonita.
Cartman: [turns irate and flips him off] Well f**k you, Kyle!! I hope you die! I hope you f**king die! [turns and walks away. The front door opens, then closes]